Top 10 Unis in London: Whr Tea Replaces Blood & Rent Costs a Kidney
Let’s cut the crumpets: London unis are lyk a posh pub crawl—expensive, chaotic, but iconic. You’ll max out ur student loan on Pret sandwiches, dodge Tube strikes, and attend lectures in buildings older than ur grandma’s gin collection. From Russell Group royalty to artsy rebels, here’s the unofficial guide to London’s top skools.
1. UCL: The Overachiever’s Playground
Vibe: Where global elites debate quantum physics while queueing for £7 avocado toast.
- Pros: Top 10 global ranking. Campus is a 5-min walk from British Museum (aka procrastination HQ).
- Cons: Lecture halls so packed, you’ll bond with strangers’ armpits.
- Secret: 60% of students Google “how to adult” before seminars.
2. Imperial College: Hogwarts for Nerds (No Magic, Just Math)
Vibe: Lab coats > clubbing outfits. You’ll solve climate change by day, cry over MATLAB by night.
- Pros: Silicon Roundabout internships. Alumni invent stuff like… WiFi (nbd).
- Cons: Social skills? Never heard of ’em.
- Mood: “I cured cancer, but can’t work the laundry machine.”
3. LSE: Whr Future Politicians Learn to Cry
Vibe: Debate Marx in lecture, stalk MPs on LinkedIn after. Suits, stress, and 3am econ memes.
- Pros: Alumni run countries. Campus is a 2-min stumble from Parliament.
- Cons: Everyone’s faking confidence. Also, £6 pints hurt.
- Survival Tip: Nod when someone says “neoliberal hegemony.”
4. King’s College: Shakespeare’s Groupies
Vibe: Gothic towers, Thames views, and med students who’ve forgotten sleep exists.
- Pros: Dentistry? Law? War studies? King’s does it all.
- Cons: Strand Campus = tourist selfie central. Your lecture? Background noise.
- Flex: “I study where Virginia Woolf literally roamed.”
5. Queen Mary: East London’s Underdog
Vibe: Diverse, scrappy, and next to a proper kebab shop. You’ll party in Shoreditch, cry over essays in Mile End.
- Pros: Cheaper rent (ish). Law & med schools slay.
- Cons: Campus feels like a 90s office park.
- Perk: 24hr library = ur second home (and therapy space).
6. SOAS: Trust Fund Hippies & Activism
Vibe: Vegan cafes, Marxist socs, and students who unironicly say “decolonize ur mind.”
- Pros: Best for languages, politics, and vibes.
- Cons: 90% of convo is “But have u read Fanon?”
- Warning: You’ll leave with a degree and a superiority complex.
7. LBS: MBA or Bust
Vibe: Future CEOs networking over £30 salads. Suits so sharp, they could cut glass.
- Pros: Goldman Sachs recruits here. Also, free coffee (ur lifeline).
- Cons: Tuition = price of a Lambo. Pressure? Palpable.
- Motto: “Sleep when ur rich.”
8. Royal College of Art: Creativity or Chaos
Vibe: Art kids welding sculptures at 3am. Fashion grads who’ll definitely start a sustainable brand.
- Pros: World’s #1 art school. Grayson Perry vibes.
- Cons: “Crits” will destroy ur soul.
- Reality: You’ll owe £100k and sell art on Etsy.
9. Goldsmiths: Eccentricity 101
Vibe: Quirky, queer, and questionably dressed. Think Bowie meets a philosophy TED Talk.
- Pros: Media & arts courses = iconic. New Cross parties? Legendary.
- Cons: You’ll write a thesis on memes. Unironicly.
- Mood: “I’m not weird, I’m Goldsmiths.”
10. City Uni: Law, Journos & Existential Dread
Vibe: Moorgate’s workaholics. Law grads who’ve memorized Love Island cases.
- Pros: Journalism school = BBC feeder. Law library = silent trauma den.
- Cons: Campus charm? Non-existent.
- Life Hack: Befriend a law student for free coffee (they never sleep).
Final Take: London Unis = 10% Study, 90% Survival
Picking a London uni is like chosing a Tube line—all options are crowded, delayed, and kinda iconic. Want to flex at dinner parties? UCL. Want to rave & rant? Goldsmiths. Just know: You’ll grad with a degree, debt, and a love-hate relationship with Nando’s.
Which London uni would break u? Spill the tea ☕👇…